A friend recently reminded me how valuable the practice of conscious gratitude listing is, and I noticed the little burst in my heart when I read her list, so I wanted to share my list of gratitudes for this moment, on the off chance some of you might have a little burst also:
– The bits of color in the yard that are just about to pop, like the lavender bushes all covered with buds swaying in the wind today atop long skinny stems, the raspberries starting to turn yellow.
-The one, red rose in full bloom that the deer missed.
-My friend Karen who held amazing space for me today to do a bit of energy work that turned out to be a pretty big bit.
-The quiet outside in the backyard, aside from the wind, and the sunny warmth that isn’t too hot, as I try to stay with this feeling of being held and out of thinking, while the newness of the recent work integrates.
-The awesome mixed berry jam from 2013 I found hiding in the bottom of my freezer a couple days ago, and that went on my waffle today.
-My husband who says the sweetest things that turn my knees to rubber, and is so generous, kind, supportive and real, who likes most of what I cook and doesn’t mind doing absolutely nothing with me.
-The friend I had lunch with last week who still am feeling the depth of appreciation for…his authenticity and presence, and his hugs, blow me away.
-Watching the treetops sway against clouds and blue sky.
-My lovely Somatic Experiencing community and other members of my healing tribe, near and afar, who continue to make me feel a belonging I never thought possible.
-Bare feet on the solid concrete ground as I type this, and the bit of time I have to do it.
-The tasty volunteer lettuce from the garden that made up my dinner last night.
-That people are willing to pay me to help them, and watching them heal.
-The realization in my work today that I am not only neither separate nor alone, but that I don’t even have to go seek out the support or solutions…they are chasing me, supporting me, even when I can’t feel it.
-The hummingbird feeder and its occasional visitors.
-That my process keeps unfolding in a gradual way that allows me to keep working and functioning and appreciating each step, rather that some giant all-in-one shift that destabilizes me and requires my entire being and attention to manage the fallout (which is what my ego keeps imagining has to happen – probably because it likes drama, I’m guessing).
-That what I truly am never stops seeking me, and that every opening leads to another that seems just as marvelous and all-encompassing as the last, and the excitement around it all.
I am grateful for the way our suburban street looks at night. I think nighttime is about ten times as beautiful as even the sunniest day, and at night, the street lights can almost allow you to imagine you are in Paris, and last night, it was wet and rainy, too, which enhanced its romance.